Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
