Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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