apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
