Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
