Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
3 2 1 whiskey
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
