she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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