how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
