yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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