I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
