Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
