Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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