Im at strip club and am horny
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
