kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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