im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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