...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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