google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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