so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
