i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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