i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
