Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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