and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize