Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
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