if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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