the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
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You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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