i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
