ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
