You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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