okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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