I take back everything I said about communal showers
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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