weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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