you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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