the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
