Do you still have your period?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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