ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
