I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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