Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
