He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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