1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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