Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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