We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
