I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
