We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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