my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
