I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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