He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
