Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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