It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
