I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
