Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
