normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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