could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
