she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
