my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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