Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize