are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
