i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
