these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The air taste purple.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
