Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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