friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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