I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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