Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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