Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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