I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just want to make out with him forever
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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