it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
