I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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