I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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