I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
