You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
