Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
