i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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