Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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