I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
